nimpark

Hello! I have mild agoraphobia and let me tell you: deciding to go to college is so difficult. I graduated high school earlier this year but I've known very early on that I was going to take a break before going directly into college. My mental health was unstable at best and with this pandemic going on I wanted to wait a while until I had a clearer idea on if I was going online or in-person.

I'm looking at a community college right now and everything just feels overwhelming. Do I want to live on campus? Should I do school online? Right now I'm living at my parents' place so I could do school online if I really needed to. I'm anxious about leaving home, even if this college is in the same city.

And of course I'm afraid that I'll fail and waste a bunch of money. I've been worried about money lately... I've just been worried about everything and anything since college seems so real to me now. Back in, like, tenth grade and my class was assigned to look into colleges, it all was so far away that I could fantasize about college. But now that's my reality and I'm nervous about ruining my college fantasy from when I was fifteen by not being perfect, I guess... Ugggghhh.

I feel like this is just anxious rambling lol